all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
