i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
