I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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