Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
