I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
