you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
