I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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