me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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