glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
