the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
