I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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