Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
