Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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