But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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