im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
