So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
