I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
