It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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