When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had sex on a dog bed..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
