shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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