i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
