Don't you send me to vm
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
