I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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