i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
