i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
