she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
