just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
