THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
