Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
