I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
