forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
