if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
