we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
