No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
