the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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