Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
