Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
