Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
