Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
