Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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