i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His hands were made for my vagina.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
