remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
