pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
