i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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