So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
