my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
