Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You're like the curious george of whores
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
