Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
