Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
