somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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