Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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